Left home for the office.
Me: "We have the weather of the Falklands without the fun of penguins."
Handsome man in lift: "Wha?"
Me: "It's very cold for the middle of June."
Handsome man: -
Walking past the Big Issue seller I see every day, he mutely held up the latest edition.
"Sorry Simon I've already got that one."
"Unfortunately so have I."
It was Simon who told me a few weeks ago that he has been selling the BI for sixteen years and so far has never opened it or read a single word!
Later met up with a good friend and we strolled down to Trafalgar Square, talking about a mutual acquantance.
Friend: "Is he on my bus?"
Friend: "My bus. Is he gay?"
Me: "He is on a train going in the opposite direction to your bus darling."
Had a pint of Guinness and went home to do yoga.